Trust.

Proverbs 3:5-6 is a verse that I picked (or rather it picked me) as my life verse. It's just one of those things that for some reason, you encounter it all the time, one way or another. As a life verse I decided it was something that God wanted me to remember always- and fall back on at all times.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight."

When you really take that apart, it's a loaded verse. 1. Trust. 2. With all of your heart. 3. Do not lean on your own understanding. 4. Acknowledge Him, in everything. And 5- the reward- do all this, and your path will be straight.

Today, we attended a service at Grace Church. The sermon was about letting God speak to you, and one of the steps to doing so stuck out to me like a sore thumb- READ HIS WORD. Simple enough, but something I've always struggled with. The Pastor told us all to read for at least 15 minutes each day for the next week. I came home, prayed for a minute and opened my Bible- and it was to this verse I opened. Now, I admit I have it bookmarked (as are a hundred other pages in my Bible) but I am glad I read it instead of opening to a new verse that I hadn't read before. I forced myself to think about what this verse has become to me- and how I have been following it. Trust- and with all of my heart! That's a huge commitment, and I don't think it's something we as humans have as a default. It's learned, and for me it's something that slaps me in the face somehow every once in a while. No matter how many times I tell myself to trust- and then follow through- there is always a time where I slide backwards and find myself crying out to Him right before I stumble back across this verse. December brought a number of health concerns and stress to the Ickes household, and I automatically ran to doctors, books, and the internet for answers. Sure- I was praying during the struggles and turned to God, but not with my whole heart. Trusting in the Lord with all my heart means to run to Him- completely. I've been listening to a lot of Bebo lately (amazing.) and a friend shared with me a video that really pushed me in the right direction- letting go and trusting Him, once again. Bebo was speaking about his own struggles, and having to get through something that he could not control nor logic his way through. And as He does so many times, God reached down and spoke to me right where I am at. The video/song was very touching, and reading my verse today was a huge reinforcement on how I need to trust Him in the midst of everything.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggUva9TjBpE&feature=related

The health issues aren't anything serious. For me, I was diagnosed with Mitral Valve Prolapse, which brings on a lot of strange symptoms that you really can't do anything about. It's very slight and I don't need surgery or anything like that, but dealing with the symptoms can be extremely frustrating. In the midst of this, what a great comfort it is to feel that love of God, that He envelopes us in when we are struggling and feel so lost. Frankly, I have no idea how people can make it through trying times without leaning on a God who loves us more than we can ever comprehend. I am still learning as much as I can about MVP but I'm leaning on the grace of God and following where He is leading. When you concentrate, you really can see his hand in your life, and it's amazing. Without the people He has put in my life, I wouldn't be where I am today- in general and in relation to this struggle.

I read on after the verse above, and it really hit home with me in the midst of struggling with my health. "Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones." (7-8). Another lightbulb went off in my head, and yet again God has comforted me in ways no one else can. The past few weeks has left me reeling, as multiple people and sources have advised me on the things that will keep me healthy. It's been frustrating, as I already lead a pretty healthy lifestyle when it comes to food and exercise. But I've realized being healthy isn't just about the food we put into it and the things we strive to do with our bodies. God reminds us to follow Him. He really spoke to me, encouraging me to seek healing in the way of following Him and not relying solely on all of the wisdom I believe I have... which in the grand scheme of things is not much!

It's all coming back to trust... and I'm going to try doing that with my whole heart. And, lean not so much on my own understanding. : )

Who's with me?

Patience & Trust

What better way to show your trust in God than during a difficult time? Unfortunately, it's much easier said than done. One of my favorite songs goes "I will praise you in this storm, and I will lift my hands, for you are who you are, no matter where I am..." and I do praise God each day no matter the circumstance. But patience? Waiting for God's plan to unfold? Turns out I'm not so good at it!

I have to admit I've never been a really patient person. I blame it on my lack of an attention span. I like to get things done, and I get bored realllly fast and move onto other things. I know God has a plan for our lives, and I know that He will take care of us. But I find myself thinking, please, maybe can we move this along a bit faster?

But then I think about the fact that we can learn from all situations. I firmly believe there is a reason for everything. I'm not sure exactly what God is showing us in this situation, but it could be a number of things. For one, Mike and I were in a comfortable place in Virginia (financially) as we prepared for our future, buying things we would need and saving in hopes to someday buy a home.

However, our plan doesn't always match God's plan. We went from being completely independent to being completely dependent on God's grace. We have been very humbled in the past few months, looking for a full time job for Mike and staying with his parents until that happens. Coming to grips with the fact that we cannot purchase a home until a job is found, and that the economy is making that search even harder has been difficult.

We are blessed though, in that we know God's love, and can trust in Him. We are so thankful for family and friends in this difficult time, and are confident that we will find our way. Years ago I chose a life verse- or really it chose me, as it constantly found a way into my life- Proverbs 3:5-6: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight."

I know in this time God is showing us patience and drawing us closer to Him... and I have a feeling that as with most times in my life, I will at some point look back on this time with a smile. The difficult part is waiting for His plan to unfold... then we'll be back on that mountain top. Until then, I'll work on my patience and trust... God has an awesome track record of taking care of me : )