This one time, I had a baby...

Hey all. I'm going to type this up quick (which means it will read like I would talk and have many errors...) before my head hits the keyboard. I want to thank you all for your endless encouragement and support and also send you an update... I want to call every one of you but haven't figured out how to make time to do things like sleep and brush my teeth yet so I hope you are ok with a giant update :)

The story: Kieran Taylor Ickes was born on October 5th at 12:12pm. He was 8lb 3 ounces (I know, right???) and 20.5 inches long. As you all know, I went beyond my due date and went MIA because I was so... pregnant. Monday the 3rd we had an appointment with my OB where we were told we should check into the hospital on Tuesday where they would try some sort of cervix ripening meds that would hopefully kick start labor. It would take a whole different post to tell you how crazy it was to be told that this was it, they were going to go in and smoke 'em out if he wouldn't come himself. I remember going home in a daze and going to Applebee's for our last dinner out together before becoming a family of 3. The next day we checked into the hospital, got all set and comfy, and about 3 hours in they were about to administer the drug when they decided to do a quick sono... and found out that Kieran was in fact breech. That was probably one of the biggest shocks ever. My doctor was certain that he was head down, had dropped and was in position (though I can tell you nothing ever felt different like it's supposed to when a baby drops). We were told to go home and come back Wednesday at 6am for a c section.

Again, It would take another post to describe how I felt at that point. I was mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. I couldn't believe how things had changed so quickly. We went home, shocked, hungry, and a little stunned to know that no matter what, we'd be parents in the morning. What to do? Go to Olive Garden of course. The funniest thing about that night was when our waiter told us he'd had a pretty rough day... as I sat there bandaged up where they had put an IV into me earlier. Later on he asked me when the baby was coming and we told him the next morning and that we were supposed to be in the hospital, he was pretty shocked... it was pretty fun : P

The next morning we went to the hospital at 6am... since we weren't on the schedule officially I had to go last, and didn't get taken back until about noon. Which wouldn't have been too bad, but I was fasting, and my body had decided to start real labor contractions which were coming about every 4 minutes. That way I guess I got a little taste of both worlds. It was pretty crazy to see all the mothers get wheeled away, and then they all got wheeled back with babies and continued to their rooms. Eventually there was no one left but us. Our doctor did another sono and was sure that the baby had flipped since Monday... yeah, no. Definitely not. Thankfully the team at the new Women's hospital was awesome and made me feel as comfortable as possible. I will spare you the details of the c section, but holy moly, what a strange feeling to hear your baby crying for the first time. I thought to myself, how in the world can someone hear that and not believe in our amazing God? And there he was suddenly, Kieran... who at that point was just Baby Ickes.

The following hours were amazing and awful. I was, to say the least, in a lot of pain and trying to figure out how to be a mom and recover from surgery. Funny how before this, I didn't really think about the fact that a c section is major surgery. I think about 100 people flowed in and out of the room that evening and night, checking on the baby and I. Thank God for Mike, and an absolutely amazing team of nurses who made me feel as comfortable as possible and were at my beck and call. At some point that evening the task fell upon Mike to make the announcement of Kieran's birth. We never made it to our room until dinner time and of course took a long time to get settled... and unfortunately our phones that have to hook up to the internet were not doing so, and he was unable to send text messages. Thankfully our parents spread the news to family, and Mike hacked my Facebook account in an attempt to let all of my friends know. I sincerely hope you were all able to see that quickly, I know some were left to wonder and I apologize for that, but I am very thankful to Mike that he got the word out somehow because in my state, I was not even able to sit up on my own. Good news: we have real phones now! haha!

We were in the hospital until Saturday late afternoon. The time went quickly and the hospital (and it's view) was so amazing that I wanted to continue our stay! I mean hey- free food at any time, view of the bay, nurses at the press of a button, a nursery for Kieran to sleep in for a little while at night, and a room that looked like it belonged in a hotel... can you blame me?? Last week I looked at Mike and said, can we just maybe pay to go back for a couple of days? ha!

Things are going as well as can be expected. The first week was very difficult between healing (and developing a hematoma under the incision which has made recovery even longer) and trying to figure out what to do and when to do it. I've been an Aunt since first grade and read all the books while pregnant... and can honestly say not one bit of that mattered once we got home, it was a WHOLE new ball game. We had an appointment about every day last week and I had one today, and have appointments Thursday and Friday too. It's amazing how one appointment can completely wipe you out until the next day.

I feel like i'm healing but am still not getting enough sleep (obviously) and haven't been great at napping while he sleeps, especially because he likes to talk (which is really cute) when I want to nap. Praise God for all the help we are receiving from family and friends, and the endless supply of food coming from Mike's parents house! Tomorrow is an incision check, and Friday is a weight check for Kieran- please pray that there are no further problems with the incision (i'm scared to death to go back to the OR) and that Kieran's mild case of Jaundice is cleared up so that we won't have to worry about that anymore. I am so looking forward to the day when Mike, Kieran and I can just hang out and stare at each other, completely healed up and just spending time enjoying each others company.

Whew. 2 weeks old today, and I feel like I had him 3 days ago. I've gotta go, I need to go take a quick nap before he eats again! I hope you enjoy the Facebook pics that are added once in a while (I get on my iPod when I feed him sometimes but have not been on the computer until now... as you can tell technology is the first to go when my world becomes hectic). I love you all so much and Kieran is amazing... I hope that you each get to meet him soon if you haven't already :)

Love to all!
- Tired in Erie PA  : P

TWO weeks left!

As of Wednesday, I will be 2 weeks away from my due date.

That means, I could have a baby anytime between now and 3 weeks from now, but either way, in 3 weeks I'll be staring at my baby no matter what. That makes me really excited, and a little freaked out! I look down and think, oh my...  I can't wait to meet this baby. Then other times I look down and think, oh my, this baby has to get out of there somehow.

Things have gone very well despite my overdoing it several days a week (and never learning my lesson). Perhaps the problem is that I am able to do less and less... so when I think I'm not overdoing it, I actually am because I can do less than last week. Hm.

Apparently, life doesn't slow down when you are almost 38 weeks pregnant. We have been getting ginormous ('m not kidding) shares of vegetables and fruits from a local farm (it's called a CSA, join one!) Each Thursday, our kitchen fills up with produce, literally. The counters are filled. I refuse to waste any of it, and I do genuinely want to learn how to cook/freeze/can it... but this is probably the worst possible time for me to spend so much time standing in the kitchen. I don't mind it, but I tire easily and it's amazing to me how quickly my feet start to hurt. Pre pregnancy I'd have to be on them all day... now I can be on them for 30 minutes and they begin to yell at me. However- I am very excited that I have produce saved up for winter, and that our grocery bill has gone way down with all of this food coming each week to cook! I love it and feel like we have been eating so healthy!

Work has also been crazy. My biggest worry was that the baby could somehow feel my stress. Luckily, the past few working days have gone much better and I'm preparing things to go on leave (however long that may be is still yet to be determined but I think I will be off through Christmas). Up until now I'd say my chief complaint would just be the lovely ongoing heartburn... but as of last week my back, feet and legs have all decided that they are through putting up with standing or sitting for long periods of time. I tried to explain to them that it won't be much longer, but apparently you can't reason with body parts.

Yesterday, Mike and I installed the car seat base in the truck. It was interesting, we used the "new" latch system in the truck and it's hard for me to believe that the thing is secure. But, apparently this is the safest way of putting it in there. I actually just paused during the last paragraph so we could take the carseat itself out and put it in the base. Hey, why leave ourselves more chores to do than necessary once this baby decides he's ready to come and meet us??

The nursery is finished and our bags are packed. I think that we have done everything possible to prepare, but I know there is no way to truly be ready for this experience. Doesn't mean I'm not going to try my hardest though :). Everyone around us has been helping too. God really is an amazing provider. Our friends threw us a diaper party (thanks to anyone who brought us diapers!) and Suz has been cooking up a storm to add to our frozen meals. I don't think i'm going to have to do much cooking after the baby is born, and for that I can not thank you enough Suz!!!

Church in a Bar is moving from the Cell Block to Forward Hall, and Mike is putting together the sound and lighting system that will be there. He's so meticulous. It was all sitting in our garage for a bit and he cleaned every piece (most of it had been taken from other locations and probably had never been cleaned). It all looks brand new to me! I have to say, I am glad that he has this to do because he enjoys working with that stuff... but I hope that he's able to finish the project quickly and be home with me. Yep, it's selfish. But I definitely want to spend time with him before our baby comes, and I feel very comforted when he's around. Being alone and experiencing strange things is not really fun. And, it would be better to have anyone around at all... but best to have your own husband there, ay?

The baby is extremely active. He moves all over the place, and I have to hold my hand firm against my right side now so that he doesn't kick out so far... it can be painful! I think he's ready to stretch himself out. At least that's what it feels like. I have a feeling I'm going to stare at him an awful lot. I even like to watch Coby and Moose because I like them so much... I'm going to venture to say that I will like to watch my own child even more.

All that said- a pregnant woman at Chipotle put it best. She's about the same size as I am, and I think as far along. Mike asked her how it was going and she said, "Things are gettin' weird..."

Things are getting weird. Totally.

Hey- it's the nursery! Thought you might like to see it. The picture that showed most of it turned out horrible so here is one wall. We need some more art, but everything else is ready. Mike built that changing table! And those bags are ready to go...All set for a sleeping baby! Or an awake one. Whatever he wants to do in his crib is his business. Or in his stroller. Man I can't wait to take that thing out! (the stroller, haha!)

relaxation station. I wish I could fit in that swing. It's actually not going to stay there, Mammaw is letting us borrow her glider, woo too! We should probably go get that.















Last but not least, a puppy, waiting for his friend!!

5 weeks left!

Turns out that I'm not a great blogger. Especially whilst pregnant... in the past few months just trying to work, keep myself comfortable and try to get things done and get ready for baby has put blogging just a little lower on my to do list than washing the dog. Oops.

So, I'm at 35 weeks! This summer, and 3rd trimester, have gone by so quickly. We were so busy in July though that I knew it would be August before we were ready to give up July. In July we went to DC where I worked in the office for a few days and my awesome co workers threw me a baby shower! It was unexpected and so sweet. Then we took Primo for his first trip to Rehoboth (even though he doesn't know it) where we parked ourselves in the sand and even rode some small waves. It was funny to imagine that next year the feet that are kicking me will be in the water! Jenna was in Erie in July which was just awesome. It was so wonderful to get to spend so much time with someone I've missed for so long and only usually see once in a while. We'll miss her so much as she heads to grad school in Israel, the land of tents and sand. (Just kidding, I've realized she'll actually be in a very big city. Same thing.)

Our baby shower was at the end of July, and I think Suz was more prepared for the shower than we are for this baby! Mandy came into town and we got to spend a lot of time with her, which was awesome. She's just super cool. She and Suz did a lot of preparing while I worked at the table in the living room... and remember the blueberries in the scones at the shower? Manz and I picked those in the rain. Cha. The shower was very fun, kind of like Christmas, birthday and girls night out all at once. And it was so humbling how everyone came together to prepare us for our firstborn. We're currently saving up some extra change in the piggy bank for the unpaid part of my maternity leave, and i've been praying about our finances for months- God has been providing like crazy! Between garage sales (so fun!), the baby showers in July, an unexpected financial gift, a free dresser from Mike and Mandy, borrowing Mammaw's glider to put in the nursery, and an upcoming diaper party that our great friends are throwing for us Friday- I can honestly say my prayers have been answered in a big way! God is good and I am learning to trust a little less in myself (because that's just nuts) and a little more in him.

My belly continues to grow even though it feels like it absolutely can't stretch another inch. The babe is very strong and though he doesn't kick as much now that he has run out of room to play, he moves around a lot and i've been getting a knee or elbow that comes out so far on my right side that I feel like my skin is just going to rip! I'm keeping track of those pains though so I can put him in time out when he's born. (just kidding). Mike and I are getting really excited to meet this little guy, and I still can't make sense of the fact that our child is right there, kicking me, and we'll see him in person soon. Quite the miracle, 'eh?

I could definitely use some prayer over the next few weeks. It was a trying day, and my struggle with not being in control or being able to do things I used to be able to do grows daily. Regardless of how pregnant I am, it's still difficult to give up being on the go and many outdoor activities. Plus, now as my body stretches even more I question each ache, pain and stretch because it's so hard to tell what is ok and what is not. I am thankful for a God who gives me peace!

We also had our labor and delivery class a weekend or two ago... it was a little intimidating but mostly informative, which helped me feel more confident about actually having this little one. It freaks me out a little to look down at my stomach and realize this baby is going to need an exit strategy at some point. Hm.

That's all for now, I'm exhausted. I'm going to bed. I love you all. Happy Birthday tomorrow Manz :)

Headed to month 6...

It's really hard for me to believe that I'll be 25 weeks this week. Time is absolutely flying!!! May literally flew by, and June seems to be going just as fast. I am definitely not wishing it away- I can't wait to meet this little guy but I also want to enjoy this time before child. And, I want to be prepared!

Things have been going very well so far. We found out two weeks ago that we are having a boy, which is awesome. No names yet- we aren't in love with any so we'll probably wait until the last minute to talk about it again :). I'm kind of hoping we just hear one in the next few months that we fall in love with.


It's funny to think that just a few weeks ago I couldn't really tell the difference between digestion and kicking- now it's so obvious, and he's kicking a lot. He's very strong! Sometimes he pushes his butt out and my stomach gets lop sided, and the other day I saw an elbow or a foot drag across in a pointed position. It was pretty awesome. The uncomfortable part is the stomach stretching- it literally feels just like it sounds. Sometimes it feels like it's about to burst! But I keep lotion nearby and it's not a big deal. I'm starting to forget exactly how to sit or stand straight, I have no idea where I need to be to be centered. So... I realize this is where the back pain starts. Luckily I go to prenatal yoga each Thursday and it is absolutely awesome! It's so relaxing and makes me feel so much better physically. I'm trying really hard not to overdo it but fail miserably some days. I'm sure it will be much easier to relax the bigger I get :) I don't think I've been too emotional, except for the other day when a bird hit my office window and died. I cried. It was kind of awful. Pregnancy brain is real too- ask Mike how many times I've left our house key in the front or back door, locked it and left out the other door without knowing. I've just compensated by making more lists!

I've become obsessed with garage sales. It's amazing how much crap people sell, but baby stuff is plentiful and most of it looks brand new since babies plow through things so quickly. I've got the cutest clothes piling up and it feels good to start preparing.

Meanwhile, Mike has been hard at work renovating the basement because that is where baby will live. Just kidding!!! Our spare bedroom will be down there with my stained glass studio. Donnie has been helping for the past couple weeks and it seems like they are moving very quickly! Mike is very protective and won't really let me do anything in the basement- which is understandable when you have a pregnant wife who is also kind of a klutz. :P

God has been so good to me and I'm happy to report my anxiety is at an all time low, which I wasn't sure would happen since it seems like so many pregnant women experience it. Phew. I just keep on praying for good health in the Ickes house, and appreciate any prayers you want to throw up there too. :)

I think we've finished registering, I tried to just stick with baby's r us but included Target too because some of their stuff was just much cuter! Such as towels, bibs, etc. It's so crazy how many things a baby needs- though, I'm sure he probably could get by with much less than we actually think. I just threw away the Baby's R Us booklet with the "must have" checklist. If we went by that, I'd have to have Mike add onto the house just to store all the crap they suggest! For example: 4 strollers. Not kidding. No thanks!

Ok- It's time for my nightly mini-wheats. Mmmmm. Did you know they have bite size ones now? Thanks for the tip Suz. :)

Love you all! Hope you are all enjoying your summer so far.

Ah Monday.

For some reason, I have a really bad history with Mondays. I don't intend on this happening but lo and behold each Monday is filled with some not so fun things.

Today was kind of rough physically. I'm constantly thinking about the fact that every action I take will directly affect the baby who is trying to grow inside of me. I don't want to take medicine, I do want to eat healthy, I don't want to be stressed out. These have all become pretty lofty goals! I've been getting some pretty crappy headaches lately, as a result of neck pain/sinuses. I finally forced myself to take tylenol after lunch today, to make it through the rest of the work day. For some reason, I was hungry but didn't really like any of my options. I'd eat a little of this and a little of that and was turned off by all of it. Even my favorite things! I went to see "Water for Elephants" with Alyssa tonight (whilst my poor husband sit at home working, after a full day of work, on a giant budget that's due Friday. Eek). It was a really good movie but had too many sad parts for my liking... luckily the very end saved it, I was very close to disliking it.

When I came home, I had a pretty comical conversation with Mike as soon as I walked through the door. He likes to make me guess when things go wrong with the house.
Um, it smells funny in here. Did one of the animals get sick?
No, guess again.
Did... something catch on fire?
No, but you're kind of on to something.
Did the basement flood again?
Combine those two things.
Umm..... Did the washing machine catch on fire?
Ha! No. The fireplace is leaking.

So there I sat in our bedroom, putting on a pair of pants that actually fit comfortably, thinking about the fireplace, and watching a couple ants crawl up the wall by the window (just another joy of owning this old house). For whatever reason, it made me laugh. I guess at some point things just become funny. I told Mike about this, and I don't think he entirely agreed, but it at least made him smile.

I'm trying to just go with the flow. Since the beginning of this pregnancy, the only flow around here seems to be the money flowing our of our bank account. But, I tell myself, we will not only have a baby shower to help with the cost of a baby but I'll be producing the only thing the baby needs to eat for the first several months. Absolutely free. Awesome. Beyond that, there is absolutely nothing we can do about flooded basements and leaky fireplaces. We just have to fix this stuff and keep going. I think to myself, I really hope that we aren't the only ones who have decided to forgo the "lets just cover it up" attitude of home ownership... I hope there are a lot of people out there who are genuinely fixing house problems the right way. I think about the people who will own our house next, and maybe they will come across problems as well- but I'd hate to think they would have any costly problems because of our negligence. It's a stretch, but perhaps God is already making provisions for the next people to live here. At least that's how I've decided to look at it.

One more funny story, I think God really uses humor to make situations like this more bearable. I went into the attic to check out the water damage around the chimney, and the stairs are pull down, pretty steep kind of like a ladder sort of thing. Pheonix is staying with us and was very concerned about me, and jumped onto the stairs and got about half way up!! Luckily Mike was behind her and grabbed her before she got any further. Comical relief for sure.

Anyhow, it's a little tougher facing these situations and headaches and hunger for crappy foods when you've got a little "nugget" as Laurie calls it inside of you. But I'm just going to keep on truckin... just like any other time in life. I think I'm going to get a Nike shirt and go around saying "Just do it" to myself. ha!!

Love to all.

Food.

I've decided to start blogging about my pregnancy at the request of some of my closest friends :)

So, this post is mostly about food. I can't say that prior to pregnancy I truly understood cravings, and I didn't even know about aversions. When I was feeling sick during the first trimester, cravings to me were just any foods that I could tolerate the sound of. Most food at the time would make me literally feel sick just thinking about it- so whatever made me feel hungry, I ate. Luckily, I haven't been feeling very sick lately. The cravings feel just like normal non pregnancy cravings, only way more intense. When I'm craving something I have a very hard time thinking about anything else. I have also learned, today, that cravings DO NOT go away when you ignore them. At least for me. Yesterday at lunch I wanted a chicken sandwich or chicken nuggets, but ignored it. It's back today, and will not go away, so I guess I'll be having chicken for lunch! Last night I wanted guacamole so badly that I almost made it at 10:15. But I knew it would be bad to be snacking that late, so I ignored it and tried to eat something else. I woke up this morning thinking about guacamole. I'll be making it this afternoon after a trip to the store at lunch (after my chicken sandwich of course).

The aversions were not something I was prepared for, and can be extremely frustrating. This week is going better than the last few thankfully. A couple of weeks ago I made chili and loved it that evening- the following days I couldn't look at it, and felt even more ill to smell it. Thankfully Mike ate it so it wouldn't go to waste. I found myself suddenly not wanting to look at most of the dinners I had planned for the week, so we just had whatever sounded good to me each night. I think Mike (hopefully) has realized that I'm not just being picky and crazy, I literally can't eat the things that make me feel sick when I think about them. I tried to once, it was a really bad plan. The other night we had ravioli, and half way through I suddenly couldn't take another bite. Mike got the rest and I had some cereal.

I had lunch yesterday with the woman who we bought the bumbo from on craigs list. She is so nice, semi-new to the area and looking for friends. It was such an encouragement, she just has such a good attitude about things. Just as an example, she talked about how people would constantly tell her how hard newborns are and would also ask her things like "how are you going to do it??" Because she has twins. I can kind of relate, people do for some reason like to make sure you understand how hard it's going to be, which I don't really understand since it's not the most helpful thing you can say to a pregnant woman. I have enough fears of my own. So in response to this way of thinking, she just said she made a decision not to look at it like others were- it almost seemed like people were making it sound like an affliction rather than the amazing thing that it is. She said that no matter how hard it was it was never as hard as people made it out to be, and she just took one day at a time knowing and being fine with not getting a lot of sleep, and thinking- I wanted this, and i'm going to enjoy every moment with my babies even if it seems difficult sometimes. Her attitude was so refreshing and just so encouraging, it all made me feel a lot more confidant, and less frightened. Mike and I talked about this last night and I decided that if I run into any discouraging people, I'll just make sure to ask them something shocking like, "oh it's going to be hard? Maybe I should put the baby up for sale on craigs list then." :) Might as well put some humor in my day right? :)

Ok that's it for now, no other pregnancy updates that I can think of right now :) Love you all!